within moments

Stumbling across a beautiful story by Liz Delayne while on my quest for a good read, the LORD worked in my life again.

"Within Moments" was a novel overflowing with emotions strong enough to bring tears to my eyes, each moment poignant and fluid. There was something about the link that compelled me to click on it and I couldn't tear my eyes off the screen till I'd read it all. The story spoke to me. Under the obvious theme of romance, it was a great reminder of two people growing in HIS love. Your story of love between Jonathan and Erica and even more so their love for GOD has once again ignited in me that passion and want to get to know and love HIM more. It was yet another affirmation that I'd made the right choice, despite the piercing hurt that came with my decision and the pain that still envelopes.

Like Lillian, my mother is not of my faith, and recently I was shaken hard by her words. We were bonding, mother daughter, over the kitchen table and like any other mum, she was questioning my love life, yet when I told her I wasn't going to rush anything, I simply trusted in HIS hand and believed HE'd give me someone who HE'd make perfect in my eyes, she exploded. She was mad at me for blind faith and it planted a seed of doubt in my mind. But this story has now uprooted that doubt.

Liz's story can be found at http://www.angelfire.com/ga3/delayne/novels/within/withinop.html
God works in wonderful ways and I rejoice in HIS love and affirmations. I'm proud to be his child. Amen.

a walk on the wild side and seafood indulgence

Joy yesterday evening was an amazing walk on the wild side of life amidst the flora and fauna of the botanics and a trip to East Coast for seafood indulgence before the EUROCUP FINAL.

Being no stranger to the botanics, it surprises me how each time I visit I never get bored. The Orchid gardens were worth every bit of the entrance fee as we conducted a tour within, the coolhouse being our favourite bit of the trail. As the four of us stepped into the glasshouse, air conditioning greeted us in true Singapore fashion and we were suddenly taken into the tropical rainforests with its lush greens and scenic falls.
The Orchid Gardens were never a focal point of my visit to the Botanics until yesterday. I was captivated by the discovery of countless species of orchids and it was probably the first time I'd seen male company so fascinated by the flora and fauna. The serenity of the Botanics never fails to bring a sense of tranquility, an inner joy and the wondrous orchid garden makes me feel truly honoured to be a citizen of Singapore.The gorgeous waterfalls and beautiful company were more than enough to make my day.

Kudos to the Botanics gang and eM the star!

After Botanics, we met up with the rest and joined the throngs queuing for seafood at the infamous Long Beach@ East Coast. Except for me and Chin May, everyone savoured the delights of the sea, from butter crab and black pepper crab to bamboo clams and cereal prawns. Sadly, due to my form, I could only devour the lemon chicken, which was admittedly tasty. Dessert was my favourite traditional black glutinous rice and longan w almond beancurd. Mmmm... Lugging our satisfied bellies, we took a short stroll and made photo stops before heading home for...

EUROCUP FINAL! To which I was sure Spain would emerge the victor. And my predictions of 1-0 weren't far off the result either. 13 shots for Spain and 4 for Germany, the Spainiards dominated with Torres finally proving himself as my favourite at the 33rd minute. Then I was left to drift off for a quick snooze before the alarm sounded, with a huge smile on my face. A joy filled night indeed!

a girlfriend is a sister you choose

Joy is realising a smile, a smile that stretches from the corners of the mouth up to the eyes. Browsing the results of today's shoot with the my darling girlfriend, the elder sis I never had, I felt the emotion from those candid shots. Those shots of us laughing so heartily ignited a sense of nostalgia in me. I remembered the times where smiles were always so real. Where emotion was so freely expressed without qualms of expectation.

I wondered, since when did our smiles start to be part of a facade, when did that radiance lose its glimmer, that warmth lose its tenderness. I pondered and realised, that sometimes that plastered on smile becomes so much a part of us we don't even figure. And then I realised how precious smiles truly are when they come from deep inside. Not a forced dismissive smile, but a smile that emotes what's inside be it gratitude to the doorman for opening the door, to a colleague for a favour or even to friends and family who make your day. A smile that is true will somehow reach the other person and send an unspoken message like no other. And when the other person's face light up, it's enough to keep that smile glued to your face. And honestly, it may look silly, but the feeling of smiling genuinely for a day does wonders.

Thanks XY for making me smile like that and realise and treasure these smiles. For the memories that have been captured and will be cherished for always. I love you girl!Friends forever, sisters to the end! Girlfriend, you're the sister I chose!

Yet again, joy of an unexpected gift filled the early hours of the morning. A joy despite annoyance of being shaken awake when the rest of my world was asleep. A joy of a surprise phonecall and an even more surprising gift.

The usually pleasant ringtones of my cell jarred on my ears, rudely rousing me from slumber. The word "blocked" mocked at me from the screen. Still groggy and sleepy and mildly annoyed at my beauty sleep being ruined, I grudgingly answered, about to voice my frustrations at the terribly disconcerting interruption when the strains of an all too familiar melody in the background gave away your identity. A tiny smile twitched at the corners of my mouth at this unveiling. Lamenting the disturbance amidst the impossible denial of a warmth seeping inside, silently pleased yet not wanting to allow you the pleasure of knowing it, I attempted the role of ice princess, forgetting that you know me all too well to be fooled by my icy facade. Thanks to you, rest and sleep became history as our conversation lapsed into hours, spinning off from the eerily familar lyrics and the strangely comforting tune which lodged themselves into my mind. No more loose ends left.

Your voice was truly a pleasure. But also a pain when I'm in desperate need of rest and sleep. But just so you know your gift made my night. Or should I say day. So thanks for the unexpected gift. Seriously unexpected, even for you my boy.

Joy yesterday was amidst laidback company and incessant chatter. An intriguing presence, unique and enjoyable. The warmth of being nuzzled and leapt upon entrance, a furry welcome that sank into my deeepest recesses. The deep stirring of emotion watching adorable furballs delve so uninhibitedly into their free spirited nature. A joy of cosy company, a wildly fufilling sensation of idling on a beanbag couch, an understanding of sibling love.

Joy yesterday was the intrinsic sweetness that welled up inside. A sweetness that radiates, basking in the blessed and joy of it all. An unexpected gesture, incredibly sweet and thoughtful, painting delight on my face . A simple yet meaningful gift that brought a surge of warmth deep inside. A gift that puts a smile on my face each time it comes into view.

Thanks to the person who made my day and for the amazing heartland company! May the brightness of your smiles never cease and your joy never waver. For the love of the LORD shall keep you, forever and ever..

Recollections.

Joy is surrounded by the joy of children, of sweet innocence where all that matters is whether they can get you to play with them. Somehow, I've never felt happier than now. Realising love is truly amazing, moving in ways unexpected. I'm blessed in ways I've never imagined. And I love each day, thankful for being able to love like I do.

Sometimes, I seem to have forgotten I love YOU until you put people in my life to remind me I do. And I know I always will. It's become so much a part of me. Even though at times I'm unsure and waver, at times I just want to question and curse, YOU've found a way to love me so surely. Love me as I am, love me whatever I do. Brought me out of darkness into the light. Giving me strength I never thought I'd have, pull me through when I'm powerless to move on. And for that I will be eternally thankful.

Friday the 13th. Unlucky perhaps. But doesn't curb the flow of joy.

Joy of knowing a difference has been made in someone's life, to realise the impact that can be made, armed with nothing but a heart full of love and joy. No matter how insignificant the gestures may seem, it doesn't take much to bring a smile to the face of someone you love and cherish. Sisterhood we chose to share, a friendship that will never be forgotten and a warmth that will linger on as always. My arms are open for you my dear girl, to embrace you when you need a hug, and to tell you that it'll be alright. To be loved is a blessing but to be able to love another like your own sister is an even greater reward. Thanks HZ, for reminding me of what it means to love a sister like you, who my heart holds no barriers against. Jin, you too. Thanks for being you, a dear brother who means the world to me, who my tears fall before freely who at times knows me better than I do.

Mei, for always, sisters to the end. Jin, for always, siblings to the end. If your world ever falls, I'll be here to hold it up.

Joy today is profound beyond itself. A deep transcending love that holds a message straight to the heart, opening the floodgates that I've held back so long. A love that will last a lifetime and longer..

For the past few years, mum and me have been at loggerheads. Everytime she chided me I'd return the favour with my hot temper. Yet today, there was no explosion. I only felt an inner peace and a tear drip down my cheek. I stood there and let her rant, finding no strength to fight back. Each word pierced right through my heart. I wanted to much to say those words but found no courage. When she had ended her lecture, I turned and walked away. But no sooner than when I reached the corner wall I crumbled and the floodgates opened. For the first time in a very long time, I was absolutely powerless over my emotions. I had no power to hold back my tears like I always do.

When daddy embraced me, it was different. I felt what it was like to be daddy's girl, to lean on him and cry. I've never let him see my cry like this before, never let him see me so vulnerable. Words stumbled incoherently out of my mouth as I held onto his shoulder and felt the warmth I haven't felt in so long. Such is the power of a Father's love. No sooner then when he helped me up and I regained my composure, I found my legs taking me to mum and I suddenly found the power to say those words as I knelt before her. Tonight, I realised that even though they heap expectation, despite their incessant criticisms, my parents are beyond amazing, and that's the way I want it to be.

LORD, YOU made me realise dad's love, mum's care when I surrendered my emotion all to YOU. Finally helping me to breakdown the walls of my emotional fortress and YOU made me truly understand how much YOU've given me and love me. I will love YOU for all eternity. You've made me a truly blessed girl. In the name of the greatest DAD ever. Amen.

Joy is knowing the answer. That choice I've made to love YOU. YOU who love me with a love so pure and unselfish despite my flaws. YOU who have demonstrated your gift for me. For making me realise I have the power to harness that gift. A gift to love freely, a childlike love, a love that allows me to give despite being hurt, a love that lets me shove aside all second thoughts. People tell me, don't love everyone so easily, not everyone is true. But what do I care. My joy comes from my love for them being true. So for those who warned me, I'm sorry I give myself so easily and can't doubt, but that's just me and I wanna love as I am. Just as HE loves me for who I am. A foolishly happy carefree girl who just wants to live life simply.

Yet again, it is another joyous day. For it is another day of loving HIM.

I am filled with joy, for my heart I have surrendered to one who I'm unworthy of loving.
I am filled with joys of blessing in HIS great love, blessings of love from those around me.
I am filled with joy of rejuvenation in HIS healing.
I am filled with joy of contentment for HE has made me and loves me just as I am.
I will gladly love HIM till the end of time.
And each day I'll smile because I have faith.

another chapter closed

Joy is knowing that you'll always be here despite the obstacles we face. That this friendship will go on to blossom.

I've run from the truth too long and I can't go on like this. I've been pulling away from HIM. It hurts too much. Thank you for the heartfelt talk last night. Thanks for understanding and letting go. Thank you for the wonderful memories. It's been a short but sweet chapter for me. Even though this hasn't worked out between us, you'll always be some one dear to me. For the last time before I draw the line, I just wanted you to hear these words again. Goofball, I love you. And I know there's someone out there who deserves you. Much more than I do.