My teenage years have faded with the last few hours since the clock struck midnight. Yet, the strange feeling that pended as the hour approached has dimmed into a quiet anticipation, somehow knowing that there's much in store for me. To know I'm a part of HIS perfect plan, a vessel of servanthood, a sense of peace wells up within, a reassurance that all pieces will fall into place. As the memories of yesteryear took me on a whirlwind trail down memory lane, I saw how much things have changed. The good and bad that have happened. The amazing miracles GOD has performed, only too wonderful to comprehend. Only hours into my new chapter of my nineteenth, I'm filled with joy, knowing that a future lies ahead, and however treacherous I will overcome it with HIS presence.

Thank you dear, for the beautiful serenade as the clock struck 12. the simple yet heartfelt prayer we shared, the gorgeous cake with its persistently stubborn candle. Though it was simplicity, it meant much more. And your company made the transition truly memorable.

Celebrating an early 19th birthday in the presence of some truly amazing company has been the highlight of my day. Secret santa with the london floor1 girls was followed by an amazing birthday suprise by Wanjie and Val. Not to mention celebrating my birthday with Naz and Bhakti , which made it all the more special. Joy does lie in the simplest of things. Like the beautiful friendships, the little gatherings, and the birthday dinner at one of london's finest thai places today. Thanks girls! For the surprise and lovely company tonight...

Joy is knowing and being assured of your love each day Abba Father. Knowing each day walked in your purpose, is a day lived in a joy, a day meaningfully lived. For what purpose can I have, but to serve you. You my creator and king. The one enthroned and whom one day will call me to your heaven.

Lord, thank you for the refreshing, thank you for the peace that comes over me each time I come into Your presence, thank you for the assurance of Your love, to know that You'll never let go of me. Tired as I may seem, weary as my body might be, when I come to You, I'm unburdened and free as I lay my troubles at the cross.

Lord you are a GOD who provides. You who know the deepest troubles of my heart. You have carried me through endless valleys and have never forsaken me. Father, you allow me to serve you and yet do not simply sit back and be served, you have a hand in all I do and you take from me my burdens. Its is an honour to be called to be your servant to serve you, to be your child that loves you, to a be a light than shines for you. Each passing day is a reminder of your unwavering love, the undeserved love you so freely pour out, the blessings you shower in abundance. Lord you are lord of my life, maker of all things and into your hands I entrust my worries, my cares for I know that you will see me through, that you will provide for me. Even as I walk in the driest deserts, I am not alone for your presence goes with me.

Help me Lord, to come humbly before you, to serve you and to lay down all I have before you. Teach me Lord not to be ashamed of my humanness for you have forgiven us our sin. Teach us lord to confess the deepest desires of our heart for there is nothing we can hide from you. Let the streams of life that pour forth from this mouth exalt you, let every gesture reflect your character, for just as a child is like his parents, grow us in christlikeness, that wemay wholly acknowledge you as our father.

There is none like you, no words can declare your love, for there is no measure and there are no bounds. Father, each day I live in your love, I ask that you allow this love to overflow to those around me, that the joy that you place so deeply within me, the joy that can come only from you my father help me be a reflector and shine for your glory. Lord almighty, let this be my plea, to humbly lay down all I am and to take up my cross and follow you, that I may live a life free of sin as you sent Jesus in our place to die for us. Lord, help me live a life pleasing in your sight, that your efforts of molding me be not in vain, but bear the fruit of the spirit. Grant me a heart of love as I learn to forgive those who come against me that you may forgive me as I forgive. Lord, teach me wisdom, not in the ways of the world, but wisdom to know you, desire to seek you and thirst for you.

Lord, you've shown me bountiful blessings and you know in my heart, the most beautiful of them all. Lord, make me one worthy of this blessing, make me a pillar for him as I grow in your love. If it is your will, twine us together that I may learn the desires of his heart and your desires for him. Teach me to love, not in the ways of the world but in a way that reflects your love, to love selflessly and patiently. Father, the joy that this blessing has brought to me, you know, and no words can express this explicit joy. We lift this bond into your hands Lord even as we give our lives unto you, mold us use us and let us shine for you, for that is our greatest hope and desire.

Dear, HE knows the deepest desires of my heart, as he has shown you. For your patience, for our gentleness, for your loving heart I truly thank HIM and I thank you for choosing to love me. Each step with you I take in faith of the Father's love. Each move I make, I make for HIM. Each breathe I take, it is HIS. And I hope one day, I will breathe for you in oneness. I love you, more than words can say.

Sometimes, we discover the sweetest of joy amidst pain. When today someone asked me questions about who makes me happiest, makes me feel most loved, makes me feel richest and what I'm passionate about, it made me think and realise how much of my life you've become..

You make me feel happiest, next to GOD, because each time I hear your voice, I have a goofy grin on my face and a sense of warmth welling up inside.
You make me feel most loved the way you call me your princess, telling me you love me everyday and when you spend time with me in HIS presence.
You make me feel richest, with the love and blessings you shower me with in HIS love.
You make me feel even more passionate about loving dance because I get to express my love for you and each dance with you is a whole new experience.

I love you dear, despite all that's happened, I want you to know that. More than you could ever imagine..

Yes LORD! Let me worship and bow down. For there is no greater joy than to serve you with a joyful heart. LORD, you are giver of joy, blessed redeemer, by whom I am reborn in Christ. I live each day in your mercy and your grace, a vessel to spread your greatness. LORD, give me humility to serve you, take away my heart of selfish desires and give me a heart of servanthood. Yes LORD, I want to serve you, now and for ever and ever.

LORD, I want to hear you! I want to love you! I want to seek you! Fan the flames in me and ignite in me a joy like never before. A joy that can only come from submitting all that I am to you LORD. LORD I am yours, you are mine. Take me and mold me into a creation pleasing in your sight. Teach me not to focus on the blessings in my life but the giver of those blessings, that is you LORD. Grant me wisdom and serenity to forgive as you have forgiven. There is no greater love than yours. There is none like you.

I will proudly proclaim that Jesus Christ is LORD of my life and I will rejoice!

Praise the LORD for HE is good and HIS love endures forever!

HIS grace reaches all who open their hearts to HIM and yet again, HE has begun working in the life of a dear friend whom I shared about GOD with, just under circumstance. Interestingly this was HIS message to me last biblestudy, to use opportune situations to demonstrate HIS love.

To live for HIM is joy. To love HIM is joy and there can be none greater than the joy which comes from love HIMSELF. For joy is something we understand through HIS presence and a blessing each day in our lives.

Truly, HE has blessed me with so much and made my life a wonderful testimony. I thank HIM for the cross, for I live again in HIS mercies, a sinner washed clean, and once again I gain entry into HIS kingdom. And the story I share with the man HE has led me to is yet again witness to HIS amazing grace and power. Hallelujah!

Dear, we feel HIS might each time we worship and pray together and seek HIS word. And HE has demonstrated a multiplication of HIS grace and power with our time together as a testimony that I may share with those around me. Truly, each day you grow in your love for HIM, you grow dearer to me. And each moment we share in HIS presence has only brought us both closer to HIM. And each day I rejoice for because of HIM, there is no distance, for HIS love melts it all. And because of HIS great love, I only learn to love you more.

This place has been strangely stale lately. Extreme opposite to what my life's been. Hectic, crazy but fun nevertheless. These few weeks since I arrived in this strange new land have been a whirlwind experience. Settling in, making friends, having fun, exploring places, attending ridiculously boring uni lectures, trying to stay awake in seminars, dashing out tutorials, it's all been a part of this new chapter. the apprehension that once flooded has subsided, replaced with only feelings of contentment and peace. For HE walks in my life and I have no fears.

Life is increasingly filled with more and more joy, more and more friendships and deeper and deeper understanding of what life in the real world is all about. Walking with HIM has never been this amazing, with all that he's brought me through. It's been more than wonderful walking closer to HIM every day, loving HIM more and more, desiring and thirsting for HIS word, HIS presence.

I thank HIM for pampering me with an entire throng of angels to see me through this transition, both here and back home. I thank HIM for teaching me to love through HIM, love in HIM, grow closer in HIM. It's been a month since that day, that day that changed me in so many ways I never imagined it would. It's been a month since I first glimpsed that smile and heard that laugh, a month since that yardstick which measures all dances against the ones that day was created. A month since a chance meeting, maybe not quite chance, I'd call it a meeting that HE designed specifically for a purpose. A month since bliss has become a permanent resident in my life. I could ask for nothing more than the abundance HE has blessed me with...

As dreams do come true you came along,
just as i'd hoped, the lyrics to my song.
We began a dance that continues on,
making a connection and forging a bond.

The joy of knowing you're growing so quickly each day in HIS love, it only makes me desire and thirst to grow in HIM more too. The time we spend together is beyond amazing, a time so filled with HIS presence as we pray together each day before you find rest. To hear your voice greet this sleepyhead's morning is one the highlights of my day, second only to QT and prayer. Joy is in the sharing of the day's happenings and the spiritual discussions that enrich each day...

I love the silent lapses we share, a comforting peace that brings a smile to my face. I miss you more than the 238672456749316874868056 miles between us, even though the distance melts away when I hear your voice.

The joy of knowing that you're near in HIS love, the joy of hearing your voice and the joy of hearing you smile. J, You made my day, yet again. Life has been great since I arrived 4 days ago. Meeting new people and having revelations of the meaning of life. Tired as I may be, busy as I may seem, your presence in my life never wanes. In each prayer, I call out your name and even as I draw closer, I only grow in HIS love and yours. It's a blessing to be your princess. Te Quiero.

因为你,我体会到我所拥有的幸福和快乐！

Joy is that that wells up inside, a sense of inner peace and serenity that can only come from the awe of HIS majestic creation. Lounging in the heart of nature, surrounded by the works of HIS hands with worship and praise playing in the background, I rekindled my inner flame once again. That overwhelming sense of joy that fills me, that longing to draw closer to my master, its all returned again.

The comfortable company of J, each of us propping ourselves on our elbows and delving into the depths of knowledge. The leisurely sprawl on the mat, sinking into a state of rejuvenation and serenity. Leaning back and closing my eyes, I felt an inexplicable burst of emotion, a mesh taking me by surprise. Right there and then, it felt almost as though GOD had placed an angel beside me, to bring smiles to my face despite my being drained. A carefree laugh, a silly joke, a tasting of life's beautiful simplicity. It felt like perfection existed.

Lying there on the grass, gazing up at the azure sky, I felt as though HIS eyes were watching me right at that moment, a moment filled with reverent fear and gratefulness.

Dance dance dance. I'm still reeling. A great night, fabulous music, and a special meeting with someone amazing. So much fun. So much exhilaration. A night of memories.

Kudos to James for making my night so memorable. For the opportunity to remind myself of HIS greatness. And for the goodness knows how many dances we had...

Sometimes I really don't know. How I feel inside. A mixture. Of joy and exuberance, exhilaration and intrigue and so much emotion intricately woven together. And yet what I do know. Is that HE's there for me. Like a father who holds HIS children close, embraces them and picks them up whenever they fall. Even when I don't know, what I'm feeling inside. HE keeps me holding on.

Thank You LORD, for teaching me to love, to cry, to hurt, to be strong, to lean, to give, to submit, to lead, to dream, to accomplish and most of all for giving me the greatest gift of all.

sometimes moments like these bring such joy

Some things come most unexpectedly,
but you know it happens for a reason.

Some things bring you joy,
and yet you cannot comprehend the delicate intricacies of its cause.

Some times you cry and you don't know why,
and yet sometimes you smile and you don't even know.

Sometimes someone steps into your life,
and leaves an impression.

Sometimes someone makes you feel special,
appreciating you for who you are.

And I just don't ask why it all happens,
because joy is simply all these moments.

I'm truly blessed by HIS grace and someone's presence.

It was so heartwarming to walk into sunday school class today to have 9 cheery faces looking up as I enter the door. Shouts of "Happy Teachers Day!" fill the air as it dawns upon me that that day is here again. Yet this year, I'm standing on the other side of the line, receiving. That sweetness piercing my heart like an arrow and melting it. Couldn't help but be infected by the joys of the little children yet again even as they press little gifts into my hands.

It's almost slipped my mind, the significance of this day, fading away with the old uniforms still hanging in my closet. And still I recall the days back then when I was the one pressing gifts into the hands of my teachers, delighted when I saw their faces light up.

A mellifluous joy indeed, one that by the grace of the LORD, flows through the hearts of the little children, straight into mine. I can't help but think about how much time I have left with them, these angelic yet cheeky faces that brighten up each of my Sundays. And I know that even as I embark on my new journey, those little smiles will always remind me of HIS love and strength.

Before I forget all about it, I'd better blog about our outing. Not that I could forget it really. What was orginally meant to be a trip to show Mark around because of drastically wet weather became a foodie trail.

The four foodies, KC, Mandy, Nirun and myself decided to educate Mark on Singapore culture. More specifically, the food culture. After KC very kindly picked us all up, we decided to embark on a Geylang exploration. Our adventures, or should I say Mark's adventures, started at Lorong 27. We eased him into local food with dough fritters, soybean milk and beancurd. At first, he was hesitant to attempt dipping his youtiao until we all did so and convinced him we weren't pulling his leg. When he discovered our rojak culture, Mark happily went beyond all our expectations to sandwich his beancurd with his youtiao, to which we all stared in disbelief. And he happily drizzled the syrup all over it. Talk about a sweet tooth! It was no wonder his tastebuds were barely accustomed to the savoury "mee sua" that came next. Actually it was new even for me since I'd never had "mee sua" in gravy, or as Mandy terms it "soggy noodles" and was accustomed to the typical mee sua in clear broth. A treat for my tastebuds indeed.

Being indecisive on our next location, we circled the estate while squabbling about what to eat next. Mandy and Nirun were set on durian and so was Mark while KC was adamant about not having durian and going for smelly tofu instead. Since KC was the driver, he got his way despite being overruled. After going round and round with KC insisting he knew where it was, we'd taken to teasing him about his "It's somewhere there" line. Luckily for him and not so lucky for the rest of us who were forced to taste the smelly tofu. I found the smell overpowering and couldn't help but choke on the overwhelming smell that greeted us as we stepped in. Even just walking from the car I had a whiff! The worse was to come when the smelly tofu was set before us, the smell was shocking!

There it sat innocently on the plate until we cut into it. I braced myself for the taste accompanying the smell. It wasn't that bad! But the smell's enough to turn me off the rest of my life. Then came our fried pig intestines which Mark very sportingly tried. I can remember just how daunting it was when I first tried it. Now, its absolute delight to me. It was off to the roadside durian stalls next, which all of us except KC was looking forward to. The durian was a bit too wet for my liking but the taste which has evaded me since I went down under was divine pleasure. Nirun, Mark and Mandy enjoyed it while KC bravely attempted one seed. It's fascinating how durians can be such a love hate thing. Either we absolutely adore and crave it, or we're so scared of it that the smell can put us off entirely.

Coffee break came next and we all piled into the car to head to Old Town Coffee at East Coast, a place which I recommended and will def recommend again. We ordered the usual butter and kaya toast, Old Town's signature white coffee, ice-cream toast and chicken hor fun. Mandy and I voted the hor fun our favourite while Mark fell in love with the icecream toast, hardly surprising with his sweet tooth. The icecream toast was a refreshing change from the hot foods but I liked the butter and kaya toast better. Just the right amount of butter and kaya was spread and I loved the way the sweetness and saltiness balanced off. Of course, I enjoyed the hor fun best despite its spiciness. The clear broth was light but tasty, slightly sweet but mostly salty, the chicken pieces were tender and smooth and the hor fun was not too soggy. If not for the fact I live in the west, I'd certainly frequent the place even more than I already do.

Our last and final stop for the day was Teppanyaki at PS, where KC dropped us off. We ordered 2 sets of 2-people set meals. It kicked off with garlic rice for the other 3 and white rice for me. The garlic rice was a tad too oily for my liking and I found the garlic overpowering beyond expectation. For our sides, we had salmon sashimi which I found was not too fresh and california maki which seemed quite soggy. However, the teppanyaki courses were good. We started with prawns which I found were succulent and very tasty despite not having accompaniments. It was followed by terriyaki chicken which I really liked and a very unique dish of chawanmushi. The chawanmushi(steamed egg) was encased in a hollow onion which infused a certain tang into the steamed egg. The texture of the steamed egg was smooth and melted in my mouth. Though not a huge fan of onions, this was one of my favourite dishes. The finale was vegetable sprouts. By the end of it all, we all had very satisfied bellies and happy smiles on our faces. However, it wasn't over without dessert and after teppanyaki we proceeded to beard papa for custard puffs and mochi before heading over to Mandy's to watch a movie. Kudos to my fellow foodies for such an enjoyable food trail! But maybe next time we should use the map, right KC?

I couldn't help but smile as I received a text reminding me to return library stuff.

Only then did I realise I've been here 2 weeks. I've been at BT for two whole weeks now and time has just flown by so quickly. I've enjoyed my time here so much, late hours aren't a chore. Even when I get home late, somehow I feel energised. Perhaps this is what they mean by loving what you do. It's somewhat sad to think my time here will be over in the blink of an eye but more exciting things await.

London calls out filling me with excitement and yet trepidation. Not entirely sure how I'll adjust to the wet and gloomy weather after my sunny days in Melbourne. One thing I'm pretty sure of though, is that my disposition won't change to blend with the weather.

Time check 4.29pm. Right. I'd best be off to get that interview done now..

Rejuvenation? Exhilaration? Adrenaline? The job is everything really.

I love the rejuvenation of exploring different angles. The sensation of adrenaline surging through my body as the deadline inches closer. The exhilaration that overwhelms as I achieve completion. The satisfaction of having written, edited and proofread. And today, the joy of having my first own byline.

"I've never seen you smile so much during your time at the bank." Wayne told me during lunch today. And I suppose I have to agree since I've become so lighthearted and relaxed in my demeanour. I feel myself radiating with fresh joy and brimming with energy. No more as haggard and drained as I used to feel. It's no wonder I love what I'm doing so much. Even though I stay in the office till late, it's an enjoyment! Thanks Eds for the opportunity to do what i love-writing! And yes I'm still smiling right now!

prata indulgence

Glorious day today! Someone lucky got to book out last night until this morning and I got to benefit in the form of decadently good cheese prata at an old hangout to start the morning. I'm definitely not a breakfast person on normal days, but I have no regrets lugging myself out of bed at 6 despite going to bed at 2. It was what I'd call a treat since I've not actually tasted prata since my return to Singapore. The prata was good and so was the company and relaxed banter. If there's one thing I realised, it's how much I appreciated the company this morning. Not an easy feat at 8am in the morning. Not for me at least. But honestly, I couldn't have asked for better and I guess it worked out:). After working about half of my breakfast, I started feeling the calorific guilt. If it had happened two years ago, I'd probably admonish myself the rest of the day. But today, I simply dismissed the thought. Finally! I've successfully broken free of the tormenting calorie obsession. I'm a very happy and satisfied foodie!

songping

Pleasure yesterday was catching up with a long lost junior. OK not quite long lost but long enough. Met Song at J8 much earlier than planned since systems training ended absurdly early, not that I'm complaining. Had a good catch up, discussed future plans and helped her out with Econs. Though a short 4 hours we enjoyed, it was fruitful. And of course, nothing beats company of a girlfriend. Love you Song! Jiayou with As!

Melb ventures part1

Joy of nostalgia on a whirlwind trip down memory lane. Landed back in sunny Singapore this morning after a terribly turbulent flight and 5 days of reliving my melbourne days. A trip which began with the aim of surprising a gorgeous girlfriend transformed itself into the most hectic, energy sucking, fruitful and fufilling trip I've ever taken.

4 Aug
Arrived at Melbourne airport and felt a wave of familiar joy wash over me, a sense of relaxation that had been lost to me since work began. Enveloped in a huge bear hug by G, my darling girlfriend who lugged herself out to the airport at 7am in the cold melbourne morning to greet me at the airport, I felt melbourne love once again. Felt good to be back in a place I'd called my second home for the last two years. Headed to the Pattons, dropped off my suitcase and greeted H then headed to Tintern to meet Mr Connor. As the familiar greenery came into view, I was filled with a sense of longing to be once more a part of it all. To breathe the refreshing chilly air, to feel the winter wind whipping around my bare legs and shivering in my winter skirt. Caught up with Ms Ratcliffe while waiting for Mr C, then dropped by to see Biv and bumped into Mrs Groner on the way. Saw Mr James and Ms Waud at Senior College and chatted for a bit before I felt a pair of arms reach around my waist to embrace me. Turned and came face to face with Noella jie, who couldn't keep her excitement and dragged me to the Hawthorne to show me to the rest as though I were a prized possession. As I saw the endearingly familiar faces of Tina, Carol, Bess, I felt such happiness to see that my little sisters were all growing up spectacularly. As Tina embraced me, she burst into tears and I was almost taken aback at her sudden outburst of emotion. Stood there stunned for a moment before I heard someone shout "mummy!" and my baby Carmen flung herself at me. By this time, I felt like the happiest person on earth. Brimming with nostalgic joy, I turned around and headed for Vicks, watching the surprise register on her face. G kept time check and she reminded me that we had to leave but not before I heard On scream "Rachel!" and greeted me with a warm hug. I think my hug-o-meter definitely hit a 100% that day. What would I have done without these lovely little sisters, my other family away from home..

Then the highlight of my trip came. Bec's birthday surprise. G had texted Bec to arrange to meet with her in advance to deliver her birthday gift. Little did Becs know that she was in for a huge surprise. At 1pm, Becs appeared outside the lecture hall to meet G and I popped out from my hiding place just as G led Bec in. The look on Bec's face was a timeless classic, a mixture of shock, joy, surprise and disbelief as she registered my presence. I found it particularly comical how she could not stop exclaiming OMG, up until we were standing in line for a hot choc. We enjoyed a great catch up over yummy hot choc, remniscising the good old days and I was missing everyone terribly. Then G ended class and we headed back. The day ended with dinner at the BH where I was warmly received by my dear juniors and I dashed off to Hugh's afterward to catch up with him and the family. It was good seeing him and his parents again, and of course little Jesse who isn't quite so little anymore. Then David came to get me and I knocked out once I got back, in an oh so familar room and oh so familiar bed, the room jokingly called "rachel's room".

5 Aug
Started the day with a bit of a lie in before heading into the city by train. Me being jetlagged, completely forgot the time difference and was late to meet the girls. Joined Vivi, Wizz and Bee for lunch at a quaint little Thai restaurant which served rather good food I must say. Headed to JB for a bit before Wiz and Viv had to head back to Uni. reluctantly hugged the two goodbye before hitting DFO with Bee for a while more. Had a good chat, really miss that girl so much! Didn't have much time to actually shop so quickly found a warm jacket for London and along the way, a funky cap. She stayed with me till Sony came. Really glad to have caught Sony in such an unplanned manner since she's always such a busy person. Definitely grateful I got her timetable to I could spring a surprise on her. Then met w e boys for dinner and had Koko Black afterwards.

After 7th months in UBS, it feels somewhat liberating knowing that tomorrow I won't have to lug my cumbersome body out of bed in the morning. These last months have been a tremendous experience, the environment, the tasks but most significantly the people. From charming to witty to aggressive, the company's staff pool encompasses people with varying personalities. I've learnt much, not just technicals, financials and formatting, but also interesting insights, philosophies and opinions on life. I've met many inspiring people during my stint, people whose wisdom have left an indelible mark on my life. In so many ways, I've gained from this internship.

Tonight, my last day with UBS was marked with a farewell dinner and a group of truly special friends. Friends who, in these last months have shared many delightful memories with me of the botanics and picnic, the ktv escapades, the thumper experience, the friday night chillouts, the weekend get togethers. These friendships that have gone beyond our work hours, extending beyond the obligation of colleagues have tided me through. Even during the hard weeks of hardcore study in April, I received constant encouragement and support.

To Nirun, thanks for being a listener and brother, for all our phonecalls and silly squabbles, for all your care and concern, for the many times you sent me home, for being someone I can count on.

To Mandy, though it's not been long since we chanced upon this friendship in the most unlikely of circumstance, I look to you as a big sister and a friend. Cheers to our great times together, lacking in quantity but with quality that more than compensates. Go learn salsa! Then you can dance with more than just Michael. I won't forget your vibrant personality and I'll miss you.

To Dorcas, firstly, I hope you keep Christian Fellowship lunches going even after I've left. Secondly, I'll miss you da jie. For you've been nothing less than the most amazing big sister in such a short span of time. And I know this won't be goodbye.

To KC, Steph, thanks for making up e other half of our induc clique with me and dorcas. It's been a fascinating journey we've travelled together, our first few months in the bank. Truly, both of you have given me a wonderful gift of friendship. KC, I'm counting on you to org more picnics and I'll gladly do e food again.

To Yiqi, Simin, Lisa, I'll definitely miss you girls. take care and I wish you well. I believe we'll meet again soon.

To Ian and Rong, though known you two for only a short time, it has been great meeting you. Enjoy and continue fellowshipping with each other. May GOD BLESS you and may our paths cross again soon.

To Kelly, Michael. It's been great knowing you both, despite the short time. Mike you owe me a dance!

I'll never forget all of you!

Hey guys, my email has gone a little out of whack so I'm putting up these two efforts from my writing aptitude test up here for your reading. Sorry for the delay.

Question 3 is the rewriting of material given, in my own way, topic is teenage delinquencies. Question 4 is freestyle writing about whether young people in Singapore today enjoy a good life. Enjoy.

Question 3

Trends or Trenches?

Are today’s trends the trenches of tomorrow? Alas, the buoying matter of teenage delinquencies is a consequence of today’s consumerist, self-seeking society, a primary manifestation of where human pride has taken us.

Perhaps however, today’s teenagers should not bear the full blame, for it is the flippant nature of general adult behavior that has strongly influenced the indulgent culture amongst teenagers. Trends no longer seem an option. It’s no longer about needs, but rather wants that showcase flamboyant lifestyles in attempt to match up to the Tans and the Lees of Singapore. The ticket to teenage popularity is now defined by where they hang out, how fashionable and trendy their clothes and possessions are and their living standards. Sadly, it paints a portrait of Singaporean insecurities without the facade of materialistic possessions.

The roots of this issue, stem from our nation’s pursuit for economic excellence. In making Singapore a shopping and nightlife hub, it allows teenagers greater access to mediums that encourage such extravagance and at the same time, promoting less time for family interaction. For some parents, communication levels have dwindled to that of coercion where they end up giving in to their offspring’s profligate impulses, despite financial struggles. And where does morality stand? With shoplifting becoming the quick solution to satisfy these impulses, it is perhaps time for a reality check. It seems that, like the adults, teenagers are fast slipping into the trenches of extravagant lifestyle. In fact, in today’s computer literate society, the latest fashions and trends are only a click away.

Have we Singaporeans set the example of becoming such superficial creatures that wallow in the importance of material greed for our teenagers? Sadly, the answer is leaning towards a yes. Take heed. The direction we are currently headed in will only propel us further into the trenches, of addiction to trends, that we have dug for ourselves.


Question 4
c)

The question is, what defines a good life? Is it one rich in material possession? If that is the definition, then yes, the life of young people in Singapore has never been as good as it is today. Indeed, they lead undeniably comfortable lives. But really, is their life as good as it seems?

In a fast growing and economically booming society, the youth in Singapore are living it up. Flashy cars, brand names have become a way of life. Unlike the generations of old that have slogged hard to achieve comfort in their lifestyles, many youth are now born with silver spoons in their mouths and live like kings and queens at home. But is this what they really need to have a good life?

What many fail to recognize in the race for riches, is that a good life extends beyond that. In the quest for Singapore’s economic growth, many adults are working extreme hours to fund their thirst for extravagant living. Granted, parents toil long and hard simply to give their children a better life. Parental intentions are certainly appreciated, but is this sacrifice of family bonding time truly worth it? Can it make up for the lack of family time spent with the child to provide support and guidance?

In a bid to fill the voids created from the lack of warmth at home, these youths have turned to bursting social calendars to distract themselves. Family bonding has now become an ancient relic for the many families who live under the same roof, but lead separate and distant lives. Is this the best environment for our young people in their growing up years? Desperate, these youth seek the warmth and trust they lack in family support in the form of friends outside. Yet, with the increasingly superficial natures of socializing, the dangers of untrue friendship are constantly on the rise. Not to mention, the increased likelihood of meeting bad company and being led astray. It is no wonder teenage delinquencies are escalating. Perhaps these attention-seeking antics are not simply bad behaviour, but a frantic call for concern.

That said, other youth face the issue of overprotection. From young, our parents cushion all our falls. Certainly this is done for our benefit, but there comes a time where we have to fall and learn from it. With everything delivered on a silver platter, will we learn resilience and fighting spirit? If we are never allowed to fall, will we develop ability to pick ourselves up? Is it not better to fall when less is at stake and learn to stand up than to fall hard the first time and not be able to stand up?

Perhaps, it is time to reevaluate. From one end of the spectrum of overprotection to the other end of neglect in emotional well being, is it not better to strike a balance and learn to treat our youths like kites, reined in, but with space to roam and explore? In this way, their lives will become even better and richer.

salsa sensation at upperclub Chjimes

My feet are sore and my body is achy but my head is replaying the tunes of last night. Vivid memories of salseros and salsieras dancing up a storm at the gorgeous upperclub@chjimes. Sad that it would be the last salsa party hosted before closure, but it was truly an unforgettable night with Grupo Invicta and Gary's amazing salsa performances.

A tremendous night of celebrating salsasingapore's 2nd birthday bash. Met many good leads, turned and twisted in ways I never knew I could. The music was captivating. Attempted Street Chacha for the first time and courtesy of Jaime from Puerto Rico, I picked up salsa in native american style, a whole new experience but enriching and satisfying nevertheless. Despite lacking in the usual showcase of LA style salsa, native american salsa brought a closer lead and increased sensuality. Not to mention, Jaime was a terribly patient and amazing leader. Loved every moment on the floor last night.

No doubt, salsa is a love that flows within me.

Kudos to YeeChong for the invite.

My life is overflowing with joy! With so much happening, it's no wonder this place has been stagnant for days. Reflective walk on the journey home today. I felt an overwhelming sense of joy and deep emotion.

Sunday school today. Watching the smiles on 9 little faces brought a grin I couldn't wipe from my face. It was another of those moments where I felt warm and fuzzy inside. Those smiles always the highlight of my week. Despite moments where the boys refuse to listen and I'm annoyed, the kids absolutely make my day. Their childlike faith restoring my own, their blind faith giving me strength to trust in the LORD. The times where they listen with such intent in their little faces and their rapid firing of questions that sometimes leaves me stumped. Today was yet another good lesson, all because HE loves the little children and I am glad to be a vessel for HIS works. A lesson that we show our love and gratitude for HIM by living our lives in testimony of HIS greatness. For HE alone is our strength and our fortress, the rock upon which we stand. In HIS mercy, we are saved, sinners undeserving of all HE has given, to become HIS sheep, to declare ourselves children of HIS kingdom. I am blessed, for HE is love.

CG yesterday saw the start of our lifestyle series. We spoke of defining our lives by our faith, sanctification and in christian unity. During prayer, a dam inside broke and I found myself struggling to be coherent, i was so choked with emotion. I was so so so thankful for the sisterhood that I had been blessed with since I stepped into PSPC, the girls I've grown up with in PLH in and now TCH. In typical SG fashion, or so I was told, my virgin sleepover after CG at Lyd's began with a flick after we had all comfortably snuggled into our PJs. It wasn't so much the show or the junk food that was strewn on the couch but the company of sisters so dear to me that made my night. Amidst squealing and squirming under the blanket, we managed to capture moments of our silliness before we sunk under the covers in preparation for an early morning. Though short, the sleepover was a union of the sisters, something we'd not had much chance to savour beyond sundays due to our ridiculously packed schedules. Thank you LORD for giving me such wonderful fellowship, for our great mentors Uncle Aaron and Auntie Lee Choo who lead by example, for the lovely sisters you've brought into my life to share my walk who I know I can always count on. LORD, give me strength that I may walk each day with a blind faith, courage that I may love as I can and a grateful heart to remind me of YOUR greatness and the one whom you sent to save us all. LORD, for everything and for JESUS, I thank you. In your word I'll trust, in YOUR light I shall trod, in your grace I shall live.

mm..more dessert!

Joy is yet another night of cosy company in the quiet surburbs with intoxicatingly good gelato!

Nestled in the heart of a small quiet estate, is a hidden haven for food lovers like myself. Upon recommendation from Chin May, we decided to take Em to sample durian gelato. We bypassed the many classy wine and dine places and found the quaint gelateria he'd been raving on about. Unlike it's neighbours, there was no air of pomposity to it. Instead, it was a small cosy tavern with bright welcoming walls.

The array of flavours available left us rather indecisive though Em had her heart set on hazelnut and I had mine on the tangy strawberry. Contrary to most parlours I'd visited where sinfully rich chocolate dominated selections, this range catered to a much more fruity palate, offering strawberry, coconut, mango, durian, cantaloupe and more.

We finally settled on our choices, Durian & Choc for Nirun, Hazelnut & Coconut for Em and Strawberry and Cantaloupe for me. The strawberry was delightfully fruity with a tang to it and the cantaloupe was sensationally refreshing. The hazelnut was simply heaven, tantalising my tastebuds. Despite Em's protests, we insisted that she taste the durian flavour. Em had a petrified look on her face as she finally gave in to Nirun's coercion and had a taste. She found the taste not too bad but hated the smell and aftertaste. While those two were busy arguing, I was happily entertaining myself with my gelato and remniscising my trampoline and freddo moments in melb. By the time we devoured our gelato, we had satisfied grins on our faces.

We left the gelateria a very happy bunch!

More joy at finding yet another dessert haven! Missim is a very very satisfied foodie! Not to mention, I had fantastic company.

Thanks Em, it's been a good half a year you've spent in SG. I hope you've had a blast and know you will always fondly remember your durian and oyster experiences. And of course our lovely trip to the botanics. I'll see you in Europe soon enough!

Thanks Nirun for lugging yourself down despite your lack of sleep from Euro Final and putting up with my hyperness. But hey, you can't blame me. Spain won and Torres scored the winning goal! And thanks for waiting and helping me get cab.

within moments

Stumbling across a beautiful story by Liz Delayne while on my quest for a good read, the LORD worked in my life again.

"Within Moments" was a novel overflowing with emotions strong enough to bring tears to my eyes, each moment poignant and fluid. There was something about the link that compelled me to click on it and I couldn't tear my eyes off the screen till I'd read it all. The story spoke to me. Under the obvious theme of romance, it was a great reminder of two people growing in HIS love. Your story of love between Jonathan and Erica and even more so their love for GOD has once again ignited in me that passion and want to get to know and love HIM more. It was yet another affirmation that I'd made the right choice, despite the piercing hurt that came with my decision and the pain that still envelopes.

Like Lillian, my mother is not of my faith, and recently I was shaken hard by her words. We were bonding, mother daughter, over the kitchen table and like any other mum, she was questioning my love life, yet when I told her I wasn't going to rush anything, I simply trusted in HIS hand and believed HE'd give me someone who HE'd make perfect in my eyes, she exploded. She was mad at me for blind faith and it planted a seed of doubt in my mind. But this story has now uprooted that doubt.

Liz's story can be found at http://www.angelfire.com/ga3/delayne/novels/within/withinop.html
God works in wonderful ways and I rejoice in HIS love and affirmations. I'm proud to be his child. Amen.

a walk on the wild side and seafood indulgence

Joy yesterday evening was an amazing walk on the wild side of life amidst the flora and fauna of the botanics and a trip to East Coast for seafood indulgence before the EUROCUP FINAL.

Being no stranger to the botanics, it surprises me how each time I visit I never get bored. The Orchid gardens were worth every bit of the entrance fee as we conducted a tour within, the coolhouse being our favourite bit of the trail. As the four of us stepped into the glasshouse, air conditioning greeted us in true Singapore fashion and we were suddenly taken into the tropical rainforests with its lush greens and scenic falls.
The Orchid Gardens were never a focal point of my visit to the Botanics until yesterday. I was captivated by the discovery of countless species of orchids and it was probably the first time I'd seen male company so fascinated by the flora and fauna. The serenity of the Botanics never fails to bring a sense of tranquility, an inner joy and the wondrous orchid garden makes me feel truly honoured to be a citizen of Singapore.The gorgeous waterfalls and beautiful company were more than enough to make my day.

Kudos to the Botanics gang and eM the star!

After Botanics, we met up with the rest and joined the throngs queuing for seafood at the infamous Long Beach@ East Coast. Except for me and Chin May, everyone savoured the delights of the sea, from butter crab and black pepper crab to bamboo clams and cereal prawns. Sadly, due to my form, I could only devour the lemon chicken, which was admittedly tasty. Dessert was my favourite traditional black glutinous rice and longan w almond beancurd. Mmmm... Lugging our satisfied bellies, we took a short stroll and made photo stops before heading home for...

EUROCUP FINAL! To which I was sure Spain would emerge the victor. And my predictions of 1-0 weren't far off the result either. 13 shots for Spain and 4 for Germany, the Spainiards dominated with Torres finally proving himself as my favourite at the 33rd minute. Then I was left to drift off for a quick snooze before the alarm sounded, with a huge smile on my face. A joy filled night indeed!

a girlfriend is a sister you choose

Joy is realising a smile, a smile that stretches from the corners of the mouth up to the eyes. Browsing the results of today's shoot with the my darling girlfriend, the elder sis I never had, I felt the emotion from those candid shots. Those shots of us laughing so heartily ignited a sense of nostalgia in me. I remembered the times where smiles were always so real. Where emotion was so freely expressed without qualms of expectation.

I wondered, since when did our smiles start to be part of a facade, when did that radiance lose its glimmer, that warmth lose its tenderness. I pondered and realised, that sometimes that plastered on smile becomes so much a part of us we don't even figure. And then I realised how precious smiles truly are when they come from deep inside. Not a forced dismissive smile, but a smile that emotes what's inside be it gratitude to the doorman for opening the door, to a colleague for a favour or even to friends and family who make your day. A smile that is true will somehow reach the other person and send an unspoken message like no other. And when the other person's face light up, it's enough to keep that smile glued to your face. And honestly, it may look silly, but the feeling of smiling genuinely for a day does wonders.

Thanks XY for making me smile like that and realise and treasure these smiles. For the memories that have been captured and will be cherished for always. I love you girl!Friends forever, sisters to the end! Girlfriend, you're the sister I chose!

Yet again, joy of an unexpected gift filled the early hours of the morning. A joy despite annoyance of being shaken awake when the rest of my world was asleep. A joy of a surprise phonecall and an even more surprising gift.

The usually pleasant ringtones of my cell jarred on my ears, rudely rousing me from slumber. The word "blocked" mocked at me from the screen. Still groggy and sleepy and mildly annoyed at my beauty sleep being ruined, I grudgingly answered, about to voice my frustrations at the terribly disconcerting interruption when the strains of an all too familiar melody in the background gave away your identity. A tiny smile twitched at the corners of my mouth at this unveiling. Lamenting the disturbance amidst the impossible denial of a warmth seeping inside, silently pleased yet not wanting to allow you the pleasure of knowing it, I attempted the role of ice princess, forgetting that you know me all too well to be fooled by my icy facade. Thanks to you, rest and sleep became history as our conversation lapsed into hours, spinning off from the eerily familar lyrics and the strangely comforting tune which lodged themselves into my mind. No more loose ends left.

Your voice was truly a pleasure. But also a pain when I'm in desperate need of rest and sleep. But just so you know your gift made my night. Or should I say day. So thanks for the unexpected gift. Seriously unexpected, even for you my boy.

Joy yesterday was amidst laidback company and incessant chatter. An intriguing presence, unique and enjoyable. The warmth of being nuzzled and leapt upon entrance, a furry welcome that sank into my deeepest recesses. The deep stirring of emotion watching adorable furballs delve so uninhibitedly into their free spirited nature. A joy of cosy company, a wildly fufilling sensation of idling on a beanbag couch, an understanding of sibling love.

Joy yesterday was the intrinsic sweetness that welled up inside. A sweetness that radiates, basking in the blessed and joy of it all. An unexpected gesture, incredibly sweet and thoughtful, painting delight on my face . A simple yet meaningful gift that brought a surge of warmth deep inside. A gift that puts a smile on my face each time it comes into view.

Thanks to the person who made my day and for the amazing heartland company! May the brightness of your smiles never cease and your joy never waver. For the love of the LORD shall keep you, forever and ever..

Recollections.

Joy is surrounded by the joy of children, of sweet innocence where all that matters is whether they can get you to play with them. Somehow, I've never felt happier than now. Realising love is truly amazing, moving in ways unexpected. I'm blessed in ways I've never imagined. And I love each day, thankful for being able to love like I do.

Sometimes, I seem to have forgotten I love YOU until you put people in my life to remind me I do. And I know I always will. It's become so much a part of me. Even though at times I'm unsure and waver, at times I just want to question and curse, YOU've found a way to love me so surely. Love me as I am, love me whatever I do. Brought me out of darkness into the light. Giving me strength I never thought I'd have, pull me through when I'm powerless to move on. And for that I will be eternally thankful.

Friday the 13th. Unlucky perhaps. But doesn't curb the flow of joy.

Joy of knowing a difference has been made in someone's life, to realise the impact that can be made, armed with nothing but a heart full of love and joy. No matter how insignificant the gestures may seem, it doesn't take much to bring a smile to the face of someone you love and cherish. Sisterhood we chose to share, a friendship that will never be forgotten and a warmth that will linger on as always. My arms are open for you my dear girl, to embrace you when you need a hug, and to tell you that it'll be alright. To be loved is a blessing but to be able to love another like your own sister is an even greater reward. Thanks HZ, for reminding me of what it means to love a sister like you, who my heart holds no barriers against. Jin, you too. Thanks for being you, a dear brother who means the world to me, who my tears fall before freely who at times knows me better than I do.

Mei, for always, sisters to the end. Jin, for always, siblings to the end. If your world ever falls, I'll be here to hold it up.

Joy today is profound beyond itself. A deep transcending love that holds a message straight to the heart, opening the floodgates that I've held back so long. A love that will last a lifetime and longer..

For the past few years, mum and me have been at loggerheads. Everytime she chided me I'd return the favour with my hot temper. Yet today, there was no explosion. I only felt an inner peace and a tear drip down my cheek. I stood there and let her rant, finding no strength to fight back. Each word pierced right through my heart. I wanted to much to say those words but found no courage. When she had ended her lecture, I turned and walked away. But no sooner than when I reached the corner wall I crumbled and the floodgates opened. For the first time in a very long time, I was absolutely powerless over my emotions. I had no power to hold back my tears like I always do.

When daddy embraced me, it was different. I felt what it was like to be daddy's girl, to lean on him and cry. I've never let him see my cry like this before, never let him see me so vulnerable. Words stumbled incoherently out of my mouth as I held onto his shoulder and felt the warmth I haven't felt in so long. Such is the power of a Father's love. No sooner then when he helped me up and I regained my composure, I found my legs taking me to mum and I suddenly found the power to say those words as I knelt before her. Tonight, I realised that even though they heap expectation, despite their incessant criticisms, my parents are beyond amazing, and that's the way I want it to be.

LORD, YOU made me realise dad's love, mum's care when I surrendered my emotion all to YOU. Finally helping me to breakdown the walls of my emotional fortress and YOU made me truly understand how much YOU've given me and love me. I will love YOU for all eternity. You've made me a truly blessed girl. In the name of the greatest DAD ever. Amen.

Joy is knowing the answer. That choice I've made to love YOU. YOU who love me with a love so pure and unselfish despite my flaws. YOU who have demonstrated your gift for me. For making me realise I have the power to harness that gift. A gift to love freely, a childlike love, a love that allows me to give despite being hurt, a love that lets me shove aside all second thoughts. People tell me, don't love everyone so easily, not everyone is true. But what do I care. My joy comes from my love for them being true. So for those who warned me, I'm sorry I give myself so easily and can't doubt, but that's just me and I wanna love as I am. Just as HE loves me for who I am. A foolishly happy carefree girl who just wants to live life simply.

Yet again, it is another joyous day. For it is another day of loving HIM.

I am filled with joy, for my heart I have surrendered to one who I'm unworthy of loving.
I am filled with joys of blessing in HIS great love, blessings of love from those around me.
I am filled with joy of rejuvenation in HIS healing.
I am filled with joy of contentment for HE has made me and loves me just as I am.
I will gladly love HIM till the end of time.
And each day I'll smile because I have faith.

another chapter closed

Joy is knowing that you'll always be here despite the obstacles we face. That this friendship will go on to blossom.

I've run from the truth too long and I can't go on like this. I've been pulling away from HIM. It hurts too much. Thank you for the heartfelt talk last night. Thanks for understanding and letting go. Thank you for the wonderful memories. It's been a short but sweet chapter for me. Even though this hasn't worked out between us, you'll always be some one dear to me. For the last time before I draw the line, I just wanted you to hear these words again. Goofball, I love you. And I know there's someone out there who deserves you. Much more than I do.

amazing race

Joy today is joy in christian fellowship, of knowing that love empowers and surrounds.

Let us all thank our Father in Heaven, for HE is love. I'm truly grateful for having such a wonderful experience at today's amazing race despite the heavy downpour, aching feet, a million dead braincells, for I have gained in more ways than one and felt the love HE has placed in my life. By the greatness of HIS love, I have been blessed with amazing fellowship. HE brought us all together today in this challenge to come together in celebration of our sister and brotherhood in Christ, that we may lean on his word and empower each other in fellowship. To HIM be the power and the glory, forever and ever. Amen.

I'm still smiling..are you?

Joy is a revelation yet again..

We always ask why life is so complicated with so mnay complexities. But what we don't see is that we are the ones complicating it. We analyse it. Don't analyse. JUST LIVE IT! Always count your blessings and not your sufferings.

We always seem constantly unhappy because we see only the negative things in life. Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday. You worry because you analyse. This worry then becomes a part of you. Uncertainty is inevitable but worry is optional. Uncertainty brings pain. Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional. You ask. Why do we suffer? Just as diamonds cannot be polished without friction and gold cannot be purified without fire, we go through trials as periods of strengthening. Experience is like a teacher who sets the test before teaching the lesson so we will always remember if we've had a failure and learn from it. Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons to Enhance Mental Strength. Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems. Success is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead.

In the midst of so many problems, we don't know where we are heading. But if we look outside we will not know where you are heading. Instead, look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.

Have faith in yourself and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve not a problem to resolve. Trust me. Life is wonderful once you learn to live. Get the best out of life. Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.

Joy this week is reviving my life and smiling everyday! Living life and loving it!

This conversation snippet is an absolute classic that will make me laugh for years to come
but it probably makes sense only to me and HZ:

HZ: But my place not safe at night. How you go home?
Me: Take cab lo.
HZ: Arh? Then how you walk in from main road?
Me: *laughing uproariously* err..take cab leh. Isn't the point of takin cab to reach my doorstep and save the walking?

HZ trying to save herself but digging herself deeper..

HZ: Maybe Jln Haji Alias is too narrow then the cab too big to squeeze through?
Me: *thinking: isn't the cab a creation to access small roads?*

Man, I love HZ, every moment w her is a classic.

More classics:
HZ: I'm searching for Evens road, how come mt everest pops up?

HZ: I found a map. I found a map. I found a map! Eh? Dunearn road got so long meh? K I've no idea how to use the map. I seriously think I should learn Geog.
Me: Dear, Geog doesn teach you maps and roads of singapore.
HZ: It does! It doesn't meh? Right???

HZ: Ok I entered the search. Here is the result: Blank box..
30secs later..wow I searched again and its still a blank box!
HZ:I typed in clementi west st 1. Pops up clementi west st 2 and jurong west st 41

Joy yesterday is joy of rebirth again in HIS amazing grace, spiritual empowerment and a joy that dwells inside from knowing of HIS promise. Joy of declaring my love for HIM, a joy of learning of HIS great love and to hear my FATHER's word.

Joy yesterday is also of great girl company, both comfortingly familiar and refreshingly new. Thanks to my sweeties for planning a girls day for me, it was a good breather that's for sure. It was a fabulous and fun night of incessant laughter and joyful smiles, decadent food and dessert indulgence and non stop camera flashes. I know I can always count on you girls to make me radiate a smile from within. Somehow when we're together, I'm carefree like a child again. and distance doesn't seem to matter when we're together because even the long walk seemed short(but I still want that boat trip sometime!) It's heartwarming to share the joy of sisterhood in HIS kingdom, to relish the quality time we share and to know he placed us side by side for a reason. I love you girls with all my heart, a heart surrendered into HIS hands.

This one's dedicated to a friend...

No one can say you don't deserve happiness so why should you doubt the happiness you deserve? Happiness is not a complexity but is in fact attainably simple. The situations that get us down in life often make us feel like it's far out of our reach but if we look beyond, there it is right there in our life. Happiness is simple, its presence is unwavering, but if you never open the door when it knocks, you'll never feel its power.

It's not as hard as it seems. Sometimes it doesn't take that much to make another's happiness. For all you know, you've already made them happy. A silly goofball once told me that one is never undeserving of love because when a person chooses to love you, they've chosen to believe that you can make them happy and if you love them back, you've already made them happy.

Happiness is already at your door, you just have to open it!

幸福就是快乐。能有你为我加油，我真的好快乐！

Joy is one paper down! And the paper going reasonably fine.

Even greater joy is Sam staying up his side to accompany me till I left for the exam. Though his jokes over skype were ridiculously lame, they turned the butterflies in my tummy to stitches in my side. Then after I told him about a friend's destress suggestion which is to visualise happy thoughts, that silly goofball proceeded to recite a list of happy thoughts I should visualise that included some very embarassing but terribly funny past memories we shared. Some were so hilarious I couldn stop laughing and though I completely failed to concentrate on visualising, all that laughing worked wonderfully to toss whatever else negative emotion I was feeling out the window. I couldn quite get those funny thoughts out of my head and I couldn stop smiling even up till i entered the exam hall.

Sam! For the past 6 years, you've created many smiles on my face but none as special as today's. Thanks to you I was one happy exam candidate. I'm sure that helped a lot. Misses from SG girl.

I could say last night was excruciatingly painful. Woke up in a cold sweat and a quick glance at my phone told me it was 2am. My abdomen hurt like hell, I felt my insides churning like a laundromat. Went to mum's room to get medicated oil to apply, and then the throwing up started. I must have spent my whole night with my head over the toilet since the sky went from dark to light without me even noticing. I'm feeling so much better now and my abdomen no longer feels like its about to split.

Despite the terrible night though, I feel loved. All through the torment, and in all my unglamness, I had goofball's company over the speaker phone. I could barely talk but i listened to him crack jokes attempting to cheer me up. When that didn't quite work, he decided to sing me lullabies and I wasn't sure how to react. On one hand I wanted to laugh at his silliness yet on the other hand I couldn't laugh out loud. All through my throwing up, he kept asking me if I felt better. Though I was white like a sheet and squirming in pain, his presence made it tolerable. It's moments like these where I feel loved and these I'll always remember. Sam may not be my dream lover, yet he's there when it counts and for that, I'm truly grateful.

I love how things are with us now, cause every little thing we do means much more and at least we know it's not out of obligation. I love you cause I want to. And right here and right now, I'm missing you from 209379266258940986130038645567043866424659796585 miles away, you silly goofball.

tribute

This is my 3rd post today already but I felt like it so here goes. It's a tribute to my silent pillar of support:

Thanks goofball, for leading without dominating, loving without demanding, caring without intruding and most of all for your presence in my life unwavering. You've held my hand without chaining and provided security in vulnerable moments. Even when we were just friends, you've put smiles on my face and dried my tears when I was at my weakest.
You were never the one that stood out among our friends, but you were always silently there. You were never the one who tried crazy stunts with me, but you would have been the one to catch me if I fell. You were never one of the charmers, but you were quietly alluring in your own way.

It's amazing now that I look back and see how far we've come in our friendship. You've loved me through all my transitions. You knew the girl in spectacles with her nose buried in a book, you knew the girl who hated school but loved CCA. You knew the wildly rebellious girl and now you know the happy optimistic girl. Time has now bridged the years between us and you've grown too, into a wonderful man I'm now proud to love.

Out of the blue, I decided to reminisce over my past entries when my brain cells decided to go on strike while I was doing math. It's amazing how frustrations melt away so quickly with joyous memories, leaving in its wake only laughter and smiles. It does seem like my purpose in creating this haven of memories has been fulfilled!

Joy right this moment is the joy of knowing that despite the storms I may have to weather, I'll make it through because I have so many memories to tide me over and the lovely people who created those memories by my side. Missim is a blessed girl!

Ok, this is for the benefit of you all. To prevent me from exploding at the next person who asks me to explain our status, here it is defined once and for all.

Sam and I agreed on this. We decided to commit but neither of us owns the other. We are not exclusively seeing each other and can explore other options should we wish to do so. In our case, it's not don't ask don't tell, it's full honesty and we respect each other's personal space. We just want to love without burden and be there for each other without obligation.

And of course, Joy today is goofball's voice, even though he's halfway round the world.

Yesterday, a very special smile made my day. Those little fingers that wound around my finger and the smile that followed. It really moved me. In the crowded confines of the MRT, that smile, so unburdened and so worry-free, went straight to my heart and warmed my insides. That baby's smile left me smiling the rest of the trip and I couldn't help but be amazed at the wonders of a child's trust in a complete stranger.

It left me pondering..When does it begin to wane so that we are rudely awakened to the marred beauty of this world? Why does it fade so many of us become creatures of suspicion, doubting and skeptical? Perhaps in a quest for success, driven by greed and thirst for comfort, we've neglected the beauty in simple moments of joy, momentous yet deeply profound. In a world surrounded by beauty and joy, we've chosen to focus on the small cracks and dents, allowing ourselves to sink into the depths of worry and stress.

Perhaps its time to reevaluate our lives and ponder our definitions of happiness, for happiness is more easily attained than thought to be and less mercenary than imagined.

Rachel is very very happy girl because she heard from Charlie!

Charlie, are you reading this?

Rachie wants Charlie to know that Rachie misses Charlie! Rachie wants to see Charlie! Rachie loves Charlie!

今日的快乐就是活在这一分，这一秒，享受它的快乐。无论是在哪里，在做什么，只要能体会快乐，我就是最幸福的人！身边有那么多爱我疼我的人，我是世上最快乐，最幸福的人！所以我想跟我身边的朋友说：谢谢你们让我欣赏快乐的美快乐的单纯。

Joy today comes from good memories, from inspirational people, from knowing that those around me love and believe in me.

Flipping the pages of my Val Book, the scribbles inside caught my eye. Just when I was beginning to get frustrated and annoyed, those simple heartfelt words from all my lovely girls drew tears to my eyes. It made me smile...

Great party at Nirun's. Joy today is catchin up w friends, chilling out, great food and vodka on the rocks. Oh and joy is successful baking too!

JJ's surprise celebrations

Joy is so simple when defined by company. Joy is so beautiful when it radiates from within and the happy vibes reaches those around me. I haven't felt so amazingly happy in a while.
I've just been Shokudoed and Loofed and I loved every minute of it. Planning the surprise party of two very lovely lovely girlfriends who I couldn't without has made my week and the actual play out of the plans went awesomely well.

JJ, I love you two and you deserve the best. Hope you girls had fun at today's surprise though it was nothing big. Plus it was an alcohol free night, so the high i got definitely spelled fun and joy. Pics will b loaded up soon i promise. Hearts hearts!

Joy today is browsing old photos and remembering those happy moments. It's seeing familiar faces and pondering those friendships. Those that have come and go yet remain a deep memory. Those who came into my life and are have still left traces in my life. And those who have stayed by my side since they came in and I simply couldn't do without. And I'm thankful for every single one of my friends.

I realise just how lucky I am, becoming a happier and happier person everyday. I have my stressed out moments yet sadness and dejection has become a memory. I'm lucky to be loved and have loved. I'm fortunate to be surrounded by people I can count on. I'm blessed with an innate passion which I can indulge in to forget all unhappiness. I can smile, I can laugh, I can love, I can live, that just about makes me the luckiest girl.

Perhaps my heart's no longer perfect, scarred and jagged with different pieces that don't quite fit together. But each of those scars taught me a lesson, each of those pieces represent e pieces given to me by my friends. It's as beautiful as it can get. I'm sick of bearing hatred. It doesn't matter what you've done because I'll forgive you. No matter how many times you may hurt me, I'll call you a friend. Until you walk away I won't. And if today I died, I'd die happy.

Joy is all around! Even when I'm sick, you bring me joy with your surprises. You make me smile and make me laugh. What would I do without good ol kor.

Joy today is the company of girlfriends.

The greatest joy today is a nice surprise being serenaded by your melodious voice!

Joy is pampering my tastebuds! Mmm....

Joy is a revelation. A joy encapsulating our shared moments, that will now forever be nothing more than a memories. A choice made to let go. It's an ironic joy, joy found amidst heart wrenching pain.

The beauty of it...

Every rip and every tear.
Every scar and every hole.
Every jagged piece that fits.

Realising this is joy in its purest, simple in its unspoken nature. Only spelled out with the unfolding of every minute and every second.

Joy today is hearing mum's voice in the middle of the day when she rang without a reason, just to chat!

Joy is finding a solution to a problem!

Joy is confidence to fight an emotional battle and determination to emerge victorious!

Joy is as simple as feeling you smile. Hearing you laugh. Suddenly the distance doesn't seem so far. It's enough to make my day seem so much brighter and so much happier.

I love you.

Joy today is waking up to sweet smses and phonecalls reminding me of those who love me. They fill my heart with a sweetness so pure and inexplicable. I simply don't know what I'd do without all of you by my side. Today isn just a day of giving and receiving tangible gifts, it's a day of celebrating the love around us.

For those of you reading this on the 14th Feb 2008. Here's a special message for you:
Love those around you who matter,
Those who truly love you for who you are.
Those who will stand by you when the whole world turns its back on you.
Those who will dry your eyes and pull you up when you fall.
Those who will stand up for you when others tackle you.
Those whom you can count on for the truth.
Love all those who you know complete your life and you simply couldn't do without.

To all those around me that matter, you know who you are:
Thank you. I don't need a reason to love you because you're you.

Sometimes joy to me is just being able to not think about the frustrations and loads on your mind. Whether it be momentuous when I receive an sms that makes me smile or the short span where my mind lapses into nothingness. The simplicity of such joy is so profound in its power to overcome yet so sparse in occurrence. I miss the days of bliss where joy was all that filled my life, where sadness and troubles were merely fleeting. Yet I savour each moment of joy so much more anticipating it may be long before another comes along, grateful for each.

Joy yesterday is having icecream with a bestie. Someone I know I can count on.

Joy early this morning is discovering an answer to a question long gone unanswered.

Joy today is being back at work in an all too familiar environment.

Joy yesterday was catching up with an old friend and savouring Hokkaido icecream.

Joy this morning was watching my babies Happy and Lucky play together happily.

Joy today is mother daughter bonding over delectable japanese.

Joy tonight is spending time with Grandma

Joy the week before was spending time with melbourne girls and having the time of my life.
Bec Steph mal Laura Sony Ceko Georgia Shan Von. Thanks for such a memorable 18th in Melb.

Joy everyday is going to bed with a contented smile. Joy today is waking up to grandma' voice.

Joy on the 28th was turning 18 in the company of close friends.

Joy on the 29th was feeling the sea breeze and relishing the company of besties at my birthday celebration and receiving Happy as a birthday gift. Kudos to Shawn Iv Jane Joyce John for organising. I had the most amazing time, you guys outdid yourselves on my surprise bday at fish n co last year!

Joy on the 30th was reaching the milestone of PLH graduation.

Joy today is the new hope the new year brings.